Sardar Joks Sms

Son:papa 5+5 how much
Sardar:Ullehke patte, gadhe ke aulath, nalayath, besharam, tujhe kuchbi nahi ata,
ja jake andarse caliculater la



A sardar went 2 Pizza Hut.There he ordered a Pizza.The waiter asked him:sir shell i cut it into 4 pieces or 8 pieces.Sardar replied:o 4 hi le aa yaar 8 to nahin khaye jayein gy.



santaji: agr aapko thand lagti hai to aap kya karte hai:
santaji: main heater le aato hoon
lekin agar aapko phir bhi thand lagti hai to kya karte hai
santaji: to main heater on kar leta hoon.....



Ek sardar ki chatri me hole
tha,
kisine pucha,umbrella me hole
kyu?
Sardar bola,Oye barish ruk
jayegi to pata kaise chalega.



Sardar Building Se Gira...
Doctor Said: He is Dead.
Sardar Suddenly Wake Up & Said:

Main Zinda Hoon.

Sardars Wife:
Tu Peya Reh Tenu Doctor Nalo Bohta Pata Aae..!



1 dafa sardar ji ko call aee
aur saddar ji ne phone uthaya aur kaha kon
tu dosri taraf se awaz aii may bool raha hoo
tu sardar jii ne bola k kamal ho gaya dono taraf se mayhi bool raha hoo


Sardar: aapaan te roti roz kukar nal khaee dee a!
Dost: es mehngaee vich keevain?
Sardar: ek burkee aap khaee dee a te ek kukar noo pai dee a!



A person to sardar: agr aik hathi sui k sorakh se guzr rha ho to uasy rokne k lye kya krna chahye?.
sardar: uski dump e girah laga do phans jae ga.


Sardar: kal menu 9 admian ne kutia.
Pandit: fer tu kuj nai kita.
Sardar: main kia himat ha te kaly kaly ao.
Pandit: fer.
Sardar: fer ki sarian na wari wari kutia.



Sardar:yar meri biwi pani say bohat darti hai.
Friend:kaisay pata chala?
Sardar:yar kal mai ghar pohncha to woh bath tub mai bhi security guard k sath baithi thi...



Sardar 2 his friend,I kiss my wife everyday b4 I go 2 office, & u..?
Friend:I kiss after u go 2 office..
Sardar:ha ha I kiss 1st



Sardar g ko invitation mila k aap ne party mein red tie pehan k ana hai.
Sardar g party puhnchy to dekha
K
K
K
Logon ne pant shirt bhi pehni hoie hai.



Sardar: cigarette hai?
Dokanwala: we don�t sell cigs.
Next day,
S: cig hai?
D: kal bataya tha yahan nahi baichtay.
Next day,
S: cig hai?
D: abay kitni baar kahoon! Nahi hai! Dafa ho ja nahi to hathorra sar pay day maaroon ga!
Next day,
S: hathorra hai?
D: nahi.
S: acha? To phir cig hai?



Race dekhtey huey sardar ney dosrey se pocha: Inam kis ko mile ga?
2nd: sab se aagey waley ko
sardar toh phir peechay waley kyun bhag rahey hein..?



Sardar 2 hotel manager: Jaldi chalo, meri biwi khidki se kud kar jaan dena chahti hai" .... Managr: wht can i do? .. Sardr: Abe,khidki nahi khul rahi hai



1 Sardar: Yar jab main chota tha tab main 5 Mannzlia Building se gira tha.
2 Sardar: Yar tu mar gya tha ya bach gya tha.

1 Sardar: Kaisi baatein karte ho muje kya pata tub main bohat chota tha.


Sardar: Shirt K Liye Badhiya Kapda Dikhana?
SalesMan: PLAIN Me Dikhau?
Sardar: Hawai Jahaaz Tak Jaane Ki Kya Jarurat Hai? Yahi Dikha Do na.



Ek Sardar Apna Marriage Certificate ku 1 hour se Dekh raha tha.
Begam Ai Booli, Tusi inni Dair Say Kia Dekh Rahe Hu?
Sardar Bola, Expiry Date Dekh raha hoon......


dolhan sardar say......aag mojhay itna khush karo k main sari zindgi yaad rakhoon sardar saari raat gud gudi karta raha



Ek Sardar Apna Marriage Certificate ku 1 hour sae Dekh raha tha.
Begam Ai Booli, Tusi inni Dair Say Kia Dekh Rahe Hu?
Sardar Bola, Expiry Date Dekh raha hoon......
 



Ek sardar exame dene gaya to apnay saath palumber ko saath le kar gaya.
guess karo kyun le kar gaya?
aray yaar simple hai us ko yeh news mili thi k paper leage ho gaya. ha ha ha



Sardar 2 hotel manager: Jaldi chalo, meri biwi khidki se kud kar jaan dena chahti hai" .... Managr: wht can i do? .. Sardr: Abe,khidki nahi khul rahi hai :-)



Friend to sardar: yaar tu aaj to doctor ke pas jane wala tha kya huva?.. sardar replies- aaj meri tabiyat theek nahi hai kal jaoonga...



Sardar rail mein susu karne gaya. Wapis aane par,wife :aapka paajama geela kaise hua?Sardar,"vahan likha tha,shareer ka koyi angh baahar na nikaalen!!



Man: Oye tera ek dant neela kida ho gaya? Sardar: Yaar main ink lagayi hai. Man: Uh kyon? Sardar: Kyon k aaj kal BLUE TOOTH bahut mashur hai



strange man. Friend: Didn"t u follow them? Sardar: No yaar, i have already seen that movie :-)


Shayari by sardar:- khidki se dekha to road pr koi nai tha..Khidki se dekha to road pr koi nai tha..Road pe jake dekha to khidki me koi nai tha :-)



INTERVIEWER: Imagine that u r in a closed room and all doors and windows r closed.How can u Escape if d room got FIRE? SaRDAR: simple..Stop Imagining


A Sardar and wife waiting 4 TRAIN, itne me "PUNJAB MAIL" aayi.Sardar bag k train me chada or wife se bola "jab PUNJAB FEMALE aye to aa jana!!!



Aik sardar bachpan se heiraan pareshaan rehta tah yeh soch ker k meri behn k do bhai phir mera aik kaise .
 

Sardar watching star tv.. Bech main advertize aya "aap dekh rahe hai "star tv".. Sardar bola, in tv walo ko kaise pata chala ke mai star tv dekh raha hu......



EK SARDAR NE SABHI DOSTON KO SMS KIYA, ""MY MOBILE NUMBER HAS CHANGED, EARLIER IT WAS NOKIA 2100 NOW IT IS NOKIA 6600"" !!



Sardarji opens his lunch box in the middle of the road....why ? Just to confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the office



Ek sardar gusse main: Oyye, main iss duniya ko mita dunga, mita dunga aur mita dunga !! Dusra sardar: Main tujhe rubber hi nahi dunga !!



Q. What frustrates a Sardar? ... A. When his wife delivers twins & he can"t find the father of the second child.



Interviewer: what is your birth date? Sardar: 13th October Which year? Sardar : Oye ullu ke pathe ...... EVERY YEAR :-)


Sardarji and his wife going to city in auto. Driver adjusted miror. Sardarji shouted u r seeing my wife. Go and sit back. I will drive auto



Sardar selected a short girl to marry. Why? Because he remembered what guruji told him.. "musibat jitni choti ho utni achchi!"


Movie director (sardar): in this scene u gotta jump from 10th floor. Actor: wat if i die? Sardar: Dats not at all a problem, It"s the last scene.....



Sardarji fixed his marriage on 2nd May. He sent invitation to his friends like this.. "Marriage is on May 2nd. Please come on 1st night.




Paji:Oy murge di tang kithe gaye?waiter: Paji murga langda tha.aur dil?Paji wo murgi le gayi.Abe dimag to hoga? Sorry paji murga sardar tha..



Sardar-why r all these people running? Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup. Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?



Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense. Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail"



Beti:"Ma! gaon me foji aaye hai" Ma:"Tu andar ja inki niyat kharaab hoti hai" Beti: "foji sardar hai" Ma:"To bakri ko bhi andar le ja"



Sardar:oye mobile bill kitna hai? Call centre gal:sir just dial 123 to knw ur current bill status. Sardar: abay Stupid current ka nahi mobile ka :-D



Sardar Ji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed. His wife asked what you are doing. He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.


Man: Sardarji where were U born? Sardarji: Punjab. Man: Which part? Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar". :-)



Lawyer to Sardar: "Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke...... " Sardar :"Yeh kya, sita pe haath lagaya to court mein Bulaya. Ab fir gita pe haath!!" :-)


A Sardar saw a beautiful girl... He went and kissed her.... Girl said- "What R U doing...?" Sardar replied- "B.COM from Khalsa college, Chandigar"



Sardar:For the past 1 week a girl is disturbing Me,I don"t know how she got my no,she interrupts whenever I call someone and says "please recharge your card".



Sardar going with his sister, Some shouts "Oye, ,mashoka le ker kahan nikle"
Sardar gets furious & slap him & says" Oye, mashoka hogi tero..Meri to behan



Sardar going with his sister, Some shouts • A drunk sardar fails from 3rd floor. People gather around & ask: "Sardar ji ki hoya?" He said"pata nahin main v hune aya haan"!!!
 



Sardar proposed a Girl...... Girl said Im 1yr elder to you........... Sardar said Oye No Problem Soniye,Ill marry you NEXT YEAR.



Once sardar wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las Vegas.So he called up the Tourist department and asked them "Ji..could you tell methe time difference between Patna and Las Begas...". . The man at the other end replies "One second sir..." and sardar immediately replies "thank you"and puts the phone down



chota sardar:mummy kal raat ko,phir maine bathroom ka darvaja khola toh light apne aap jal gaye.mummy:kaminey phir tune fridge main susu ki!



A sardar was running with his pregnent wife,who was about to deliver, when another sardar asked him, O pernam singh, oye woti nu ais haal vitch le ke kithey puj rya vain, pernam singh replied,assi Pizza hut chaley aan, sunya aa othey free delivery hondi aaa



sardar ji to his friend: Yar bari mushkil main hoon mairi bivi mujh say aik kiss ka 100 RS laiti hay ..... friend: acha, yar to bara lucky hay doosron say to wo 500RS laiti hay



A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.He writes a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love U sister....


why did sardar cut the sides of medicine before eating it ? think think think to avoid sde EFFECTS.



once a sardar bought a banaspatee teen and say to the shopkeeper where is my gift ?shopkeeper said why? serdar said there is written colestrol free


dolhan sardar say......aag mojhay itna khush karo k main sari zindgi yaad rakhoon sardar saari raat gud gudi karta raha



can you lend me 2000 Rs? i need it. please help me out, i know you have it, i wil return it .a sardar asks to ATM machine???????




A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a Sardarni painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall. She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For Best Results put on Two Coats"



A Sardar was drawing money from ATM, The sardar behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I"ve seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). " The first sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258"



Q :) How does U recognize a sardar in school or College??? ..... A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard.. . BOLO tarara!!



Q :) Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale??????????? A :) Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept....... .



Sardar g ghar se niklay or apne gari or Romal ghar me he bhol gaye.onhon ne aone bewe ko awaz de or kaga ke parwen gari thalay sut.parwen boli sardar g gari tot jaye G.sardar g bolay koi Gal nahi me Catch Kar lan ga.bewe ne gari Nechay soti to gari tot gaye.sardar G bolay OOOoooY parwen Romal ne suten me utay a kar lejana wan.



Sardar g ne dekha ke aik bacha nehar me dob raha tha.sardar G nehar me gaye or bachay ko bacha leya.logon ke kaha ke wa wa wa sardar G.U r So Great.Sardar G ne bachay ko dobara nehar me dhaka de deya.or Bolay "Nakey kar darya me dal"


Sardar G Chat se nechay geray.Log akhaty ho gaye or Pocha sardar G ke hoya sardar g Bolay monu ke pata me te apay hun ayan.



2 sardars were fighting after exam.
Sir: Y r u fighting?
1 Sardar: This fool left the answer sheet blank,
Sir: So what?
1 Sardar: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both copied.


2 Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy.Sardar1:Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case. Sardar2: Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai. BC-1760!!



Sardar was writing something very slowly. Friend asked: Why r u writing so slowly? Sardar: Im writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he cant read very fast.