EID MUBARAK

Monday, June 22, 2009

Adult Sms

ek ladki ka rape ho rha tha ,
ladki jor jor se chila rahi thi kutto, kamino, koi tho condom pehno muzhe AID"S hai.


4 golden rulZzZz

1)Larki chahay jitni bhi lambi ho Lun lait kar he lay gi
2)Paisa Aur Nangi Larki jahan nazar aye matt choro
3)Lohay per Hathora aur Choot per Lora ussi waqt maro jub wo garam ho
4)Kissmat ki Karni Aur Chooth Ki Garmi kabhi nahee ruktee


Mother:Larka pasand aya,
Beti:Ha lakin wo to bohut Mota hai
Mother:ary Pagli TV 14 Inch ka ho ya 21 inch ka Romote to wahi 7 inch ka hota hai


L@dy Cl@Ss Te@cheR 2 Students:AIDS Se Bachne K lye Condom Use Karo ...
Girl:"Madam" Agar Aap ko Kahey k KULFI Ko LAFAFE mai Daal K Chuso To Apko Maza AyeGa?


Shadi ki agli subah dulhay ki maa : beta GHUSAL ker Lo...
Dulahn :Is kanjar ko to sirf GHARARAY karao :p


Sardar suhag raat ko puri khoshish k bavajud

kamyaab na hua tu Ghuse se BV se bola;Tumhari

pehlay kisi ne nahi li?

BV masumiyat se jis ne bi li "Underwear" uttar k li!



Mr. Han tiya from China & Mr. Lee cho from Korea comes to Lahore and start a five star restaurant but nobody come to eat. reason?
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Because they named CHOTIYA RESTAURANT


aik pathan ke bimari ka illaj aik hakeem ne aurrat ka dohdh tajveez kia bari muskil se pathan ne aik aurat ko razi ki dohdh peete waqat aurat garam ho gi or os ne sexy awaz main kaha kuch or b chaye tu pathan bola dohdh k sath agar biscuits b mil jay tu maza ajay ga


Sardar suhag raat ko puri khoshish k bavajud

kamyaab na hua tu Ghuse se BV se bola;Tumhari

pehlay kisi ne nahi li?

BV masumiyat se jis ne bi li "Underwear" uttar k li!



New married Larki se uski saheli ne pucha

Honey Moon manane kahan gaye thy?

Larki : Islamabad, Lahore, Muree

Saheli : kia kia dheka?

Larki : Chatt aur Pankha



Judge : Tum ne Apney Husband ko Qatal Q kia?

Larki : Wo office se aya mujey Room may le ker gya Bed pe litaya Kapray utarey Meri Tangen uthaen aur kaha?

"April Fool"


Teacher to a Nursery Student:
"Count from 1 to 10 & i"ll give u kiss."Miss i will count from 1 to 1000,then Sleep one night with me Plzz


ANMOL JUMLAY
1)gharib ka darwaza or orat ki Choot.jab b bajao ge andar se bachay he niklein ge
2)Gand or Doodh..jab b phat`te hein to Awaz nhi ati
3)Car or Biwi..jab bhi kisi ko do ge,CHUD k he wapis aayen gi
4)Lund or Pani..apna rasta khud banate hein
5)Zillat ki Phuddi se Izzat ki Muth behtar hai.


Son:Papa kal se hamara 1 period SEX ka b hoa karay ga
Father:lakin yeh tum apni LULLI q hila rahe ho?
Son: yeh to Teacher ne Homework kerne ko dia hai


Gore or Asian MA farak OR Gore kiyu itne jalde tarki kar gay?
Goore(english men) Kaam ko dmaag ma rakhte han or or chut ko lun pa rakhte.OR Asian chut ko dmaag ma or kaam ko lun pa lete han.
we need to think about it?



Ghalib ne aik Larki ko periods may dekha tu Arz kia,

Shalwar k nechey se tapak k pani Laal aata hai,

Kamal ho gia Ghalib,

Kia Ander b koi Paan khata hai....


Story of Kisses:

When u kiss an american girl
she said "Kiss me hard"

Indian girl "Kiss me soft"

Pakistani girl "jaldi karo Ammi a jayengi


Properties of breast milk.
1. No need insert the sugar.
2. No need to boil it.
3. cats can not steal it.
4. its tax free.
5. It have no expiry date.
5. Available in beautiful packing.
6. buy one get one free


Beta-Mom ye PRAGNENT kya hota hai?
Mom-Beta GUSSE ko Pragnent bolte hain.
Next day beta raste mein ek ladki k upar gir gaya to ladki ki mummy gussa hui.
Ladka bola-O Aunty gira to teri beti par hu,tu q pragnent ho rahi hai.


Jaley huwey toast or Pergnant Girl Friend mey kya simlarity hay? Dono ko dekh kar yehi Afsos hota hay k KASH aik minut Pehley nikaal liya hota.

Dulhay: 1st night Dulhan ke aankh pr kiss keya or kaha" Ankhin sakhsiat ke kitab hoti hain"
Dulhan: tum ko kitaboo main khoay ho or library main aag lagi hy.
 


aj ap ko slad bnana sikhatay hain.pahlay ap aik kheera lain...
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takleef ho rahi ha tu nikal lain.



Teacher: why are you late?
Student: My dad told me to take our cow to bull.
Teacher(Angrily): Can"t your dad to it?
Student: No, only BULL can do it



Chaaku kya dikhaati ho, Dhar to Talwar me hai.
Dupatte se kya chhupati ho, maal to Salwar me hai.


Rape Case.

wakeel: Kia ap bta sakti hain k admi kon tha?
Girl : koi bahir ka tha.
Wakeel:wo kaiay?
Girl: Itna bara hamaray Muhallay main kisi ka nahi hai..


FRAZ rfom Graveyard :
Aj kul larkoon k hontoon pe ubharta hai Fraz,
In ki gand main sholay sa Q jalta hai Fraz
kartay hain maan chudaiyaan takhallus se mere,
Har sher ki maan chod kr laga daitay hain Fraz
Shayed in ki kisi Fraz ne mari hai Gaand,
Ya phir Chod k in ki behnoon ko bhaga tha Fraz
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Khabardar jo kisi ne ab ruswa kiya mjay,

Gaand main ghuss k phat jaye ga Fraz



Sardar: Aj ghar jatay hi main apni BV ka underwear utaar dun ga.
Friend : Sardar ji aj to baray mood main ho..?
sardar: Nahi Yaar,
Kafi tight hai mujhay


Naaz na kar ae hasena senne main daam ham be rakhite ha,
Agar brazear main doo bomb tum rakhite ho,
Tu under wear main gun ham be rakhite hain.


Srdr: Mestri ji, Bed pakka banana, Mere Bete ko Bahu par chadna he
Mestri: Aisa bed banaunga ki, chahe sara maholla chhad jaye kuch nahi hoga
 


80yrs old main to a doctor: my 20yrs old wife is pragnant, any advice plz??
Doctor: pehle aik kahani suno. "aik shikari, shikar main jatay hoe ghalti se apni bandoq ki jagha chatri(umbrella) le gya, usne jungle main aik shair dekha jaldi se chatri ka handle ghumaya or fire krdia, shair gira or tarap kar mar gya.
Old main: namumkin, kissi or ne fire kiya hoga.
Doctor: EXACTLY.


Raat ko 1 larki ne car ko rukne ka ishara kia,
Car kareeb aa ke ruki to larki boli"oh em sorry! mai samjhi taxi hai"
Car wala bola, " main b yahi samjha tah"
 

Girl to boy: Tum boys girl mai sab say pahlay kia dekhtay ho?
Boy: depend karta hay girl aa rahy hay ya ja rahy hay


Bush 2 Sardar:
Yahan har baat py BehenChod BehenChod kehty hain, what is meant by this?
Sardar: Matlab ‘Watan se Mohabbat kerne wala.‘
Then Bush in speech in India said,
“O Baharat ky BehenChodo mein bhi 1 bohat bara BehenChod hoon per Gandhi sab se bara BehenChod tha“


Mainay asteefa nahi dia faraz.
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Lun pay charay zardari lun pay chahray nawaz


Ek aourat subha mohalay k hakeem k paas gayi or boli,
Kia mere husband ko dawai aap ne de thee?
Hakeem : haan
Aourat : to phuda bhe apni maa ka dena tha



Load sheding in Pakistan
mil gaya !
mil gaya !
mil gaya !
loadsheding ka soloution mil gaya ..
TOUCH CONDOM kay 2 khali wraper se jeetain generator
chudai lagaow bijli paow…………….


Boy:phool ho gulab ka jisme kaantay na houn. ladki ho 16 ki jiski jhante na ho.
Girl:Gulab k phool me log kante nahi dekhte.chut marne wale kabhi jhante nahi dekte.


Teacher: sab se zada Calcium kis Doodh mein hota hai?
Boy: 18 saal ki lerki mein cos us pe moun maro tou jism k un hissoun mein b jaan a jati hai jahan HADDI nahi hoti


Dulhay: 1st night Dulhan ke aankh pr kiss keya or kaha" Ankhin akhsiat ke kitab hoti hain"
Dulhan: tum ko kitaboo main khoay ho or library main aag lagi hy.


Sardar 2 his friend,I kiss my wife everyday b4 I go 2 office, & u..?
Friend:I kiss after u go 2 office..
Sardar:ha ha I kiss 1st


Sardar doodh waly se; kal kyu nhi aye thy?

Doodh wala; Apki bhabhi beemar thi.

Sardar; OO YAR BHEENS KA DOODH HI LE ATA!!!



Door ganoon may 1 basti thee,
jahan per randian basti thee,
unki gand my itni masti thee,
jitna dalo hansti thee, (end


A guy donated blood to his girlfriend. After a while they broke up and he wanted it back. The girl threw a pad at him and said. i"ll pay u back in monthly instalments.


Bus driver k peache betha bacha shor ker raha tha
Ager meri maa hathni or bap hathi hota to main chota hathi hota!
Ager meri maa cow or bap bull hota to main chota bull hota.
Is terhan janwaro k naam lieye,
Itne main Bus driver ghusse main bola,
ager teri maa randi or bap gandu hota to tuh kia hota?
Bacha: BUS DRIVER!!
 


Kid:
Dady k room se prayer ki awazein aa rhi theen
Mom:
Prayer krna to achi bat hai
Kid:
dady to chup thay unki secrtry chila rhi thee
"OH GOD, OH GOD"
 


Wife: Mummay Dabata Hay,Tangen Uthata Hay,Jhatkay Lagata Hay,
BOLO BOLO BOLO KON?
HSBAND: KON MAIN?
Wife Nahin Humara Naya "NOKAR


Sardar First Night Ko Poori Taqatse Wife Ko Fuck Karne Ki Koshish Ki, Lekin Naakam Raha,
Phir Wife Se Bola : Bahut Tite Hai, Am I The First Gay ??
Wife : Na Ji Na, Others Remove My Panty First !!


Suhag raat thi k achanak dulhe ki maa ne darwaza bajaya to dulhan bhaag kar parde k peche chup gaye dulha bola maa hai meri dulhan oho me samji chaapa par gaya


Rs 1450: baby food
Rs 1000: doctor fee
Rs 950: medicine
Rs 800: toys
Rs 500: diapers
Rs 300:baby powder
total
Rs 5000


or

condom
Rs 5

faisla aap per hai
 


Dil Me Arman Tha Ki Uski Salwar Ka Naala Kholenge,
Uski Bra Ka Huk Kholege,
Uski Penti Ka Ilastik Khichenge,
Par Uski Bewafai To Dekho

"Nangi Hi Chali Aayi"



Teacher: Why LOVE Is Better Then WAR?

Sardar: Madamji, Tusi Itna Bhi Nahi Jante,

Simple,B"cause

CONDOM Is Cheaper Then GUN !!!



Ye Meri Shalwar Mein Kya Horhaa Hai
Chota Sa Kuch Bara Ho Raha Hai
Waise To Ye Bara Shareef Hai
Tumhare Ehtaram Mein Khara Ho Raha Hai


Boy: main pyar ki gehrai aur ishq ki oonchai ko dekhna aur pyar karma chahta hun.
Girl: seedha kiyun nahin kehte k underwear aur brazier bhi utaar dun!



love is life
who is your wife
when she will sacrifice
i will make her my wife



Boy: main pyar ki gehrai aur ishq ki oonchai ko dekhna aur pyar karma chahta hun.
Girl: seedha kiyun nahin kehte k underwear aur brazier bhi utaar dun!
 


Ek lady aik bazurg k paun choo k boli baba ji koi change mat deo,
Baba ge: o bibi brazier pa k aaya kro hildey mummy vekh k te babe di apni mat waj jaandi aye.
 


college wali
masale dar:
office wali
narum narum:
muhale wali
garma garam:
aap kya samjhaye?
may toh roti ki baat kar raha hon



AMERICAN SAYS: INDIA IS BACKWORD IN SEX TECHONLOGY.ANGRY SARDAR STARTED SHKING HIS PENIS.AMERICAN:WHY R U SHKING UR COCK? SARDAR:I AM FUCKING MY WIFE THRU BLUETOOTH


Q:Who is stronger, Man Or Woman? A:A woman bcos she
lifts 2 mountains on her chest while a man lifts 2
stones with the help of a crane.


SHE IS HOT!
SHE IS SWEET!
SHE ALWAYS NEED A LIP 4 KISS
WHOLE WORLD MAD 4 HER!
WHO!
WHO IS SHE?

DO U KNOW?


"TEA"
CHAI PIYO, MAST
JIYO................................



TEACHER: WHAT WILL HAPPEN IFEARTH ROTATES 30 TIMES FASTER?
SARDAR STUDENT: MEN WILL GET THEIR SALARY EVERYDAY AND GIRLS WILL BLEED TO DEATH.



I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tats how u...eat an ice cream!


Sardar:yar meri biwi pani say bohat darti hai.
Friend:kaisay pata chala?
Sardar:yar kal mai ghar pohncha to woh bath tub mai bhi security guard k sath baithi thi...



A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams,whichthe father receives as:"father, your daughter has been successful in BED."
 



******VALENTINEDHAMAKA OFFER ****** send yourgirlfriendto me &get a child free Hurry up ¤First¤ ¤¤10 winners¤¤¤¤will get¤¤*¤¤TWINS¤¤*....*


1 larki nay 7 bachoo koo janum diya.
bed se utar tay hi us nay app nay husband ko tapar mara. or kaha mai nai kaha tha na k kotay wala style teekh nahe.


Chacha chachi donon lafangay,
so rahay thay donon nangay,
chachi ko lagi thand,
chacha nay dia lund,
chachi boli yah kia gund,
chacha bola machine gun,
dhasaan dhasan.. dhasaan dhasaan..



Kon kahta hay dost humari chudai hogi,
yah afwa kisi bhanchod nai urai hogi,
ghuss k teri gand mai rahain gay sada,
itni jaga tu hum nain banai hogi


Q: What is the difference b/w Secretary & private secretary?

Ans:Secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR
&
Private secretary says ITS MORNING SIR



A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams,whichthe father receives as:"father, your daughter has been successful in BED."


Musharraf said to his mother. Ammi mari B.V , M.M.A walon sey meli hoi hai! Jab bhe kamray main jata hoon kehti hai wardi utaro...


A boy and gal of 5th class asked teacher "kya chote bachoon ke bhi bache hoote
hain"? teacher nahin kabhi nahin " boy said to girl-dekha aur tu aise hi dar rahi thi".


Girls Hostel ki light chali gayi.
Ek ladki ne electric office me phone karke kaha:
Light chali gayi hai, aadmi bhejo.
Replied "Aadmi nahi hai, mombatti se kaam chala lo...
 


75yrz old man got married with a girl of 15 yrz old. At marriage nite they both r crying cuz Girl don"t know anything and an old man hav 4gotten evrythng.


what"s common between the SUN & WOMEN"S UNDERWEAR?
1) both are hott
2) both look better while going down
3) both disappear by night............


Man: Kiss Karun?
Gal: Lipstick kharab hogi.
Man: Boob dabaun.?
Gal: T-shirt kharab hogi.?
Man: Fuck?
Gal: Period me hun.?
Man: Don"t say loose motions hai.
 


Mother to Teenage Daughter : "I think its time that we should talk about SEX."
Daughter : "Yes Mom, What do You want to know


main mangta hoon tu dati nahi... jawab meri baat ka.....
deti hai to khara ho jata hai...
rom rom jazbat ka...
kyun keti ho bar bar dalo...
baloo main phool gulab ka.....



Girl: Jab hum ladkiya gandi bante karti hai tab tum ladko ke KAN khade ho jate hai..!!

Boy : Oh !! Accha ? To tum log USE kaan kahete ho?



Election 2008
( Free Tips )
Fit Auntiyan chahiye hon to "PPP" join karen!
Fit Larkiyan chahiye hon to "PML(Q)" join karein!
Londay baazi kerni ho to (MMA) join karey
Gand marwa k saudia jana ho to PML(N) join karey
Ganduon k hathon katal ho kay bori main marna ho to MQM join
karey
Agar Sirf muth pe guzara kerna ho to Tehreek-e-Insaaf join karey
Aur agar in sab ki gand marni ho to army join kare



Height of Double Meaning:-
Dad went to school to get son"s report card

Busy madam: Abhi Nahi
DAD: To phir kab aaun mein?
Madam: Mere Periods khatam hone ke baad!



teacher :kisi aisi cheze ka naam batao jis ka sirf suna ho par dekha na ho

student : teacher behan ka lora
 


Musharaf Reema ka haath pakar kar bola:

“Aao kamray mein chalain�

Reema; “Ki faida, wardi tey tu lani nai�


Bachey k khatney k waqt nai ko mashwarey diye janey lagey.
Chachi Boli: Is k chacha jaisa Nokdar banana.
Mami Boli: Is k mama jaisi Gol Topi ho.
Nai Dhoti Utha Kar Bola: Aap ki marzi hai ji warna Fashion to yeh chal raha hai.



Nasibo Lal new song..
Picho lagya na kar meri jan sajna,ago hel janda a pora saman sajana..picho lagdey nai musalman sajna menu lagna tu ha koi pathan sajna.



Mallika at Airport. Bhikhari: behanji 1 rupiya dedo.
Malika gave him 1000 Rs.
Secretary: why U gave him 1000 Rs..?
Malika: pehli bar kisine behan kaha.


yeh dekheye rosy key (.)(.)

lagthe hain mote mote boo boo

nikalta hai iss main see doo doo

kyunke yeh hai rosy ke (.)(.)
 



Sardar: Will u merry ,after i die?
Wife: No, I will live with my sister.
Wife: Will u merry, After i die?
Sardar: No, I will also live with my sister.


Sex is a sensation caused by temptation when a man puts his location in a woman"s destination. Do u get my explanation, or do u need a demonstration?

1 Doctor Mareez k peechay bhaag raha tha..Logon ne poocha Kya hua?

Doctor: 4 baar aisa hua hai..SALA khatnay karwanay aata hai aur baal saaf karwa k bhaag jata hai.
 

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